Happy New Year!!!

Thank you for the comments!!! My friends are still here and that makes me even more motivated! 

Day 5 and no sugar. Now don't get me wrong, I am not eating "clean" as far as carbs go, but I am eating BFC friendly. I am back on my meat, potato and spinach routine. I plan to start tracking on myfitnesspal on Monday. I did go to Zumba yesterday! Yay for me!!!

Because I am such a "chef", I burned my fingers cooking dinner. I have had ice on them off and on for about 3 hours now. I also took 3 tylenol. I don't know how in the heck I am going to be able to sleep. They burn....bad!!! 3 fingers:(  It's on the front of my fingers too (steam) or I would just fall asleep holding an ice bag. Ugh!!!

The scale hasn't magically dropped like I was hoping it would, but I'm not surprised. I figure I am down at least 1200 calories a day just in what I was eating in cookies, so it should budge soon!

Have a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! We can do this....together!

Blessings and happy scales:)

My daughter that used to hate me, loves me now!!! Well, she tolerates me! There reason I have such a funny face? I was sucking my tummy in!!!!

147.9 OMG, I did it to myself AGAIN!!!!

I have been a very bad girl :( VERY, VERY, VERY bad girl!

I can't believe I do this to myself, over and over again. I did learn something this time, I am a sugar addict. I seriously have a problem once I get started. I literally made 2 batches of russian teacakes and ate 75% of them. I made white trash toffee and ate 75% of it. And it doesn't end there, I made 8 different types of cookies since my bunko at the beginning of the month, and I ate, and ate, and ate....sugar! Tons of sugar, and carbs. I ate 2 bags of white rolls slathered in butter and grilled. It was endless, and once I started, there was no stopping. Until yesterday, and I stopped. I threw out all of the cookies that were left, 3 tupperware containers full. I threw away what was left of my "moose munch", I threw away my last roll. I was ready. I also learned that I am not prone to diabetes or I would be in a coma right now! UGH!!!!

Besides eating my way through the month of December, I had a lot of fun :)

I leave for Georgia to see my daughter on the 24th of this month. Can I lose 20 lbs by then? hahahahahahaha! But I can get a start on having my jeans fit around my waist. I did keep going to Zumba 2x a week and I think that helped me not to gain more. I am committed to restarting Monday, although the schedule is screwy with New Years next week. I shall once again be SUCCESSFUL on this BFC journey.

I had a nice surprise happen with my Macy's order....go MACY'S....I ordered 2 North Face fleece when they had the friends and family 25% off, I didn't know what color I wanted and it was free shipping over 99.00. I ended up receiving 3, 1 in a color I didn't order, but love, and when I called to tell them, they just said Happy Holiday's and to keep it. So I ended up returning 1 and keeping 2! I love them and they saved me when my jeans were getting tighter and tighter.

Christmas was wonderful and I loved having my family here. I did miss my GA daughter and grandkids, but I am Blessed to have my kids here. My daughter Taryn just GLOWED when she opened her life size Loki cut out. Her twin Matthew had a great December. His girlfriends uncle has season tickets to the NY Giants and let them use them for the Giants/Seahawks game. They went to NY and sent back wonderful pictures to share with me. He's now been to Yankee stadium and to Giants stadium. Funny how both of his favorite teams are in NY? He's 25 years old and living the dream:)  So here's some pictures from December. If anyone even reads this??? And if not, it is a month in review for me!

The twins, posing for my Christmas card.

My beautiful 88 year old Dear friend

Matthew and Natalie at the Giants game

New world trade tower. I REALLY want to go there!

Missing Konner, but Karson's Christmas program

Karson and Konner

She's HAPPY!!!

My daughter in law took this and since it takes a year to get her to send it to me, I took a pic of her camera.

Taryn was generous:) Another Willow angel and 2 gift cards!

This is the great pic I got with my camera....love the garbage sack!

Whether there is anyone out there reading this or not, I am much more accountable when I blog, so I will, and I hope everyone will join me? I already miss Rosalie's daily blog:(  It takes a village, you know, even for losing weight!!!
Blessings and happy scales....

If I weren't eating carbs, I would be starving!!!

I just wanted to make a quick post and say hello to Linda:)
I am so SICK of carbs, me, the carb addict. I did not realize how much meat I eat until it isn't really around. We are going to the breakfast room for Hilton Honors members and they didn't even have boiled eggs this year. Just muffins, toast, bagels, sweet rolls, fruit....ugh....I told my husband today that I am NOT going back there. I have eaten poorly for a week and today was my pay the piper day. I have had an upset tummy all day and slept for a few hours. It's kind of overcast today so I don't really mind sitting around. We have had a wonderful, peaceful time. Here's some pics:)

Breakfast room view AKA/carb Heaven

I have taken so many pics of this bird!

Hubby happy

Dinner

Sunset

Room view

Friday night fireworks!

140!!! Down 4.5 lbs:)

This weight is coming off really slow, but it is coming off! I am basically following the traditional BFC and I added yoga 1 day a week. I feel so much better, and most of the weight has come off of my tummy area. Just 11 days until we leave for Hawaii, so I need to hang in there. I think when we went two years ago, I weighed 138 and thought I was doing awesome because I had been 165. Now I feel BIG, because I had weighed 133. I need to add some inches to my height and then I would be great!
I hope everyone survived Halloween? I allowed myself a 100 grand bar, and last night I had a Baby Ruth. Today I have a Nestle crunch. I think I am finding I am better when I don't say "NO" to everything. Obviously I couldn't eat one every day. I have been eating my potatoes as my carbs, and I have gotten back to my spinach. We eat a lot of meat, potatoes, and spinach dinners.
We have a funeral today of a brother of a friend. I don't know that I have ever even met the guy, but it's what you do to support. It's raining and dreary and I am  glad the scale moved because it makes me happy!
Blessings and happy scales!

My favorite pic I took at our local park. 

Week 1 was a success!!!

Starting weight: 144.5, current weight: 141.3, and yes, I am VERY happy! Not a noticeable difference in my too tight jeans, but it sure made a difference in the roll over my new size 8's. I feel so much better because I have been good! I did have a teeny bite of a Reeses PB cup at Costco. It was way too sweet, so I gave it to my husband. That felt good and powerful! I did yoga again today and I loved it, however, if today had been last Tuesday, I would have thought it was too hard and might not have gone back. I have remained flexible as an adult, but hold $hit, it was tough at times. Then we "meditate" for the last 15 minutes, and about 5 minutes in I had to go potty, so my meditation was like this.....
Thank You Lord for all of my blessings, the weather is amazing, life is happy, I feel good...Oh, I have to go potty....But life is good, I am happy, the weather is beautiful, the leaves are incredible colors, but Oh, I have to go potty!!! I made it!

Today was my grandson Karson's 4th birthday. His big party is next Saturday. I would guess my daughter is spending over 300.00 on the party. They are going to a play area on the base, but it is like 12.00 a child, and siblings are charged.  Konner's party for turning 1, was at their house, but they had a bouncy house and a guy that made balloon animals....REALLY!!! I'm glad they are having fun, but I wish I was there!!!

I broke down and bought some Swerve sweetener on a buy one /get one free. I was shocked at how small the bag was for a retail of 10.99. Of course I knew it was 1 lb, but my Stevia in the Raw bag is twice the size and is 9.6 oz. Well, the Swerve is "weighted" just like sugar. It doesn't like fly around in the air, wispy little molecules like the stevia. Well I made my no bake cookies, I figure they cost over 5.00 to make, and I swear, I sang to the Heaven's. Seriously, ask my hubby! The texture was exactly like the old days of real sugar. Just stevia, they never really set up until they had been in the fridge for a week. The Swerve made my tongue feel cool around the edges, like when things melt in your mouth! I don't know how often I will buy it, but I love it!

The weather here is beautiful and the colors of the leaves are beyond gorgeous! It feels so good to sit outside and read. I have to say it is chilly, but sunny. We leave for Hawaii 3 weeks from tomorrow! Woot!!! I just read on the hotel website today that they are having a USA beach volleyball tournament on the beach in front of the hotel. I told my husband we will both have eye candy to look at!

I was going through our pantry trying to clear out some room today and found some window stickies that I used when the kids were little. I'm talking 20 years ago! I put them on our living room window, kind of tacky, but I love the memory!
Have a wonderful week!
Blessings and Happy Scales!!!

I have 2 days under my belt!

Woo hoo for me!!! I have been great for 2 whole days, I expect a 5 lb loss tomorrow morning:) Just kidding! I even had a lunch engagement yesterday and girls dinner this evening. The restaurant is known for their home baked bread and I didn't have a piece, zip! I had part of a caeser salad and a 2/3 of a very dry chicken breast. No dessert either. The birthday girls picked things I wouldn't have eaten anyway. Yay!
And I tried a yoga class today. I really did enjoy it, I wish I would have had a little more instruction to make sure I was doing things right. It was really peaceful and I do plan to do it again.
Thank you for the nice comments on my last blog post! I truly do appreciate them:)
Blessings and happy scales...

Where do I begin? Cue Love Story lyrics:)

Songwriters: FREEMAN, RUSS

Where do I begin
To tell the story
Of how great a love can be
The sweet love story
That is older than the sea
That sings the truth about the love she brings to me
Where do I start

With the first hello
She gave the meaning
To this empty world of mine
That never did
Another love another time
She came into my life
And made the living fine
She fills my heart

She fills my heart
With very special things
With angel songs
With wild imaginings
She fills my soul
With so much love
That anywhere I go
I'm never lonely
With her along who could be lonely
I reach for her hand
It's always there

How long does it last
Can love be measured by the hours in a day
I have no answers now
But this much I can say
I know I'll need her till the stars all away
And she'll be there...
How long does it last
Can love be measured by the hours in a day
I have no answers now
But this much I can say
I know I'll need her till the stars all burn away
And she'll be there...

STOP THE MADNESS!!!!

Am I the only one who remembers that song from one of the saddest movies of all time, Love Story? 

OK, I can't even tell you why? What is in my head? But I believe that sugar/carbs are an addiction that takes a conscious effort to overcome. I have been out of control and telling myself that I am just a "little" bigger. Last week I decided that I was so done trying to lose again. I was pretty much eating anything and everything and maintaining my weight. I didn't want to have to "try" to fit into a size 6 pant anymore, I would just buy a size 8, and let it go. Sounds good right? Until I tried on the size 8 and they were too tight. Hubby and I went shopping yesterday to buy an outfit for a wedding that we are going to later today. I always head straight to the INC department of Macy's because I usually find something stylish and quality. I found one sweater that I bought, not in love with, but not a lot of choice when you are having a feeling "fat" day. It sure looked cute on the mannequin:) Then we went to Gap to buy the same pants I have had before, but in a larger size. Gross, Gross, Gross, Gross, Gross! I didn't like the pant color or pocket this year either. So we went over to American Eagle, I grabbed a size 8, walked up to the cashier and paid, and left the store to try them on in the comfort of my own home. They fit in the butt, and thighs, but of course, tight in the waist. I could have definitely used a bigger size. I am keeping them, and I am going to fit into them. Come Hell or high water! This fat around my waist is the cookies, no sugar added ice cream, Wendy's new frosty waffle cone, cake at Bunko, it's endless....I have had an excuse every week not to start because I have all these social situations that I have "first". Well, as Pattie said on her 100 post today, this is a forever process. How many times has Rosalie told us that? You can NEVER go back to your old way of eating. I went back, and she's right! I thought I could "dabble" and still be good 90% of the time. That just doesn't work for me at this point. It makes me sad, especially since the things that I have been eating, haven't even been my favorites! I haven't indulged on all of my dream sweets, I don't typically even eat ice cream. UGH!!!

We leave for Hawaii in 32 days, I have "things" again all week that will be temptations, but I did it before and I can do it again. Dang! And just being good with my Zumba? Doesn't work, it's the combination. I actually do better food wise when I am not working out at all. What? Yep, I always gain when I go back to Zumba after a long break. And no, it isn't muscle:(  I have now owned my new Yoga CD's for over 2 months and I have done 15 minutes. I watched another 15, if that counts:(  I can make every excuse in the book, but none of them makes this 10 lbs feel better or disappear. 

So for now, I ask for your good wishes, your strength and you wisdom to get back on the road again. I can and will do this. I did it once, I CAN do it again! 

Blessings and Happy Scales....

Today was the day!!!

So I am starting today to be "good" again. I have seriously been STARVING all day. Like chow down,  not enough food, STARVING! It is so funny how our minds work. I ate a 1/2 rack of BBQ ribs for dinner last night. A 1/2 rack!!! Hubby and I usually get them and have about 5 ribs left over, last night we ate the whole rack between us. UGH!!! I was preparing myself for today....hahahahahhaha! How did that work out for me??? So this is what I am doing: I did go to Zumba this AM, I am pretty structured there, but I also bought some 2 lb (too light, but I wasn't sure what I would use) I have done squats with the weights, arm exercises all day. Ran in place, and took a nap:) Every time I go potty, which is hourly, I pick up the weights and do something. My flat a$$ needs some definition;) I feel happy tonight, even if I wasn't perfect. I did log my food into myfitnesspal and my calories weren't that bad, my carbs....BAD:(
My granddaughter turned 14 yesterday and they had a party for her on Friday night. People, I hate to even admit this, but my son and his wife had no light bulbs in their living room. Like it was seriously dark, it was CRAZy!!! You have a party and you have no light? One gal used her flash light on her cell phone to make it light enough to see what presents my grand daughter opened. Thank goodness it was still a little light outside so there was some natural light in the room. They NEVER have napkins, and now they don't have light bulbs. They are mid 30's for gosh sakes!!!!
Wish me luck on getting a grip on my food, we leave for Hawaii in about 6 weeks, I don't think I am going to lose much, but a little would be nice. I seriously do feel better now that I am taking the oral estrogen, more balanced:) I also have a wedding in a about 12 days that I would love to lose 10 lbs for....gosh I am funny tonight!
Have a great week:)
Blessings and happy scales....

Pictures are impossible:) 

143.7.....is the tale 'o the scale....as my husband says it.

My husband can hear the scale when I put it down in the morning and he asks "what's the tale 'o the scale?" when I come downstairs. There are times that I just slug him in the arm, and times when I am pleased and smile. Yesterday I was actually at 142.7 and that is after a really, really, rough, yummy, fun, filling, bad girl....week! I think the extra lb today is from the 2 ice cream cones that I had at Dickie's BBQ last night! I decided that I am pretty darn close to the 15/6 guidelines (90%  of the time)  and where I fail is my lack of movement. I sit on my a$$ a lot. I don't work, so I basically am a lazy person. I do go to Zumba 3x a week, and I have every intention of putting my new yoga DVD's in, but I don't. SO...instead of limiting my food, I decided to move more. I am hoping the combination of both, will take me back down again! So each hour for 5 hours today I ran up my stairs, did 10 jumping jacks, ran down the stairs...then used 2 soup cans (I need some weights) to do several different arm exercises. It isn't a huge amount, but it is 5x more than I did yesterday! Small baby steps of adding activity. I can do this!!! Hawaii is less than 2 months away....

We did a short little trip to Missoula for fun shopping last week. (And food, lots of food...bacon...ugh)  I got my first pair of "real" sunglasses and it made me cry. I know that sounds really dumb, but I have never had polarized glasses before. I got some Maui Jim's and it made me cry. I have said it before, but when I was a single mom, I was poor....dirt poor at times, hock my ring poor, to buy food. Each weird little thing that happens that makes me realize that my life is different, makes me emotional. I actually didn't start crying until I found a penny and thought of my Dad in Heaven and how happy he would be for me. My husband feels so good when he knows he makes me happy with the little things....I know, I'm strange!

Marv's new rig

I have mentioned before that my husband is a car head and he wanted a new 50,000 car. I did prevent that, but he did get a new/used rig. I actually love it and look forward to lots of road trips. I told him today that I was going to take a picture of the 3 cars in the garage, and a picture of our living room couches, and share with the world his strange priorities! My living room furniture is hideous, but we never even walk through the room, so it seems crazy to get new things? And while I am on the subject....NO GRANITE YET....not even a phone call....just an empty promise to have it done by September 30th. Sigh:(

So Carey had mentioned that you shouldn't take your thyroid meds with coffee and I took it to heart. I started taking it right when I go to bed. Since it has to be taken on an empty stomach, it prevents me from eating past 7. I think it is working....I also started taking estrogen and it IS working. I was in hot flash hell, not sleeping, and CRANKY!!! It has been about 5 days and I already feel better and I have slept great 2 nights in a row. Woot!!!

So that is it from K's house! I wish we would all get back to our Blogging, but I realize life is busy.
Blessings and happy scales.....

I am STUCK!!!

I haven't been blogging because I am so frustrated with the scale:( I have been "trying" for 6 weeks to drop some weight. Depending on the day, I have lost between 2-3.5 lbs. Really??? I have only missed 1 Zumba during those weeks, I sweat like a pig, am exhausted and STARVING afterwords...UGH!!! 

On the good news front, we have finally booked our Hawaii trip, I once again talked my husband out of a 50,000 dollar car, and life is peaceful! 

This tends to be true with my kids!

Because I am frustrated, I haven't been the best at my food choices, but I still am really low on sugar, except today...General chicken from the Safeway deli. 17 sugars!!! I had it for lunch and dinner. Yikes!!! 

I bought yoga tapes 3 weeks ago and have done 15 minutes??? WTH??? I am lazy with a capital L!!! 

Tomorrow is my gym girls lunch and my first Bunko of the year. We take the summer off, so I am excited to see my girls. Life is a Blessing every day! 

I want to go to my oldest son's for his kids first day of school, but I have to be out there by 7:00AM. They live about a 30 minute drive away! THAT IS EARLY for me. I am used to sleeping until then. We will see if the desire to share in their day gets me out there! Cadence will start 8th grade and Cy will be in Kindergarten. So excited for my granddaughter to be going to school here. She is living with my son this year and I can actually go to her sporting events! Did I write that before??? Who knows???

Where did everyone go? I miss our little blogging community:( We just have to keep at this! Encourage one another and share our successes! We can do this! 

Blessings and happy scales....

141.9....On my way down a little more....But I am soooooo angry!!!

I had my physical on Thursday and unfortunately my blood work was not there before I saw the Dr. When I got my test results by email on Friday, too late to call, she wants me to start on cholesterol meds because there is a marked increase since last year. I think I went from 218 to 253. OK, this is why I am so MAD....I have been pretty darn good with my eating for 4 weeks. I have been really good with my Zumba for about 3 or 4 months. I don't know what the hell else I am supposed to do. Yes, I eat too many processed foods aka bacon, yes I probably eat too many eggs. I eat cheese now which I didn't eat much before. I even added the multi grain sandwich thins back a month ago. Seriously....I was so upset today that I had to take 1/2 an anxiety pill to calm down. It is the injustice of it all. I eat right, exercise, I am height weight proportionate. It isn't fair....I even whined on the Sandy's site. I don't even freaking drink alcohol!!!! maybe I should???
So I am thinking about what I want to do. When I owned my little women's gym there were so many horror stories of  people taking the cholesterol meds, then you top that with all of the Dr.'s coming out against them. Honestly, I have taken BP meds since my early 30's, I finally got off my anti depressants, I was so proud of myself. UGH!!! I wish I could verbalize how angry I am . And yes, I know it is not a "serious" medical condition, but really??? What the heck!!!!

So forgive me for ranting. The end.

Say what????

I have truly been a very good girl and have been back on track for about  15 days. My lowest weight was last Sunday and I was 141.7. Today I got on the scale and I was 143.5, say what??? I was so PI$$ED that I thought about what I would really like to eat today and I came up with my Rotel sausage dip and Fritos scoops. I am weird, I know this! I had it for lunch and I am having it again for dinner. Yep..if I'm going to gain a little, I want it to be worth it. 

Seriously though, I know that I will go back down. The increase could be related to water retention, hormones, any number of things. I did not increase in size. My measurements are the same as Saturday, so I am OK! This freaking weight battle is not for sissies!!! 

New laces. I LOVE these shoes:) 

I am still doing Zumba and still keeping my calories in check. I will soldier on. Monday at Zumba I thought I may have mistakenly taken my blood pressure pill because I got pretty light headed and had to slow down. Wednesday, I purposely didn't take it and the same thing happened. I took this lovely picture of my face when I got in the car. It doesn't show the full impact of the RED color of my face. It does show all of my wrinkles:) 

My husband had  job interview today, it was super stressful for me, not him. I know that we will be OK whether he works or doesn't work, but we would be so much better if he did work. It's not in our hands, and I know we are so unbelievably Blessed that I shouldn't even worry about it. I feel guilty praying for something that others desperately need. I sure feel guilty a lot:(  I'm sure that didn't make sense at all. 

It makes us re-evaluate where we are and what we want to do when we grow up? Who knows! If he worked again, selfishly I would have more money to spend, but he would be working. Money/working/money/working???

Blessings and happy scales:)

Zumba RED!

142.2 Slowly headed down.......

I feel better already. I am logging all of my food into myfitnesspal and I love the accountability that it gives me. I really like the days that I do Zumba because it makes me feel like I have really done well calorie wise. Carbs are still a little high at times, but overall, I am proud of myself. I even ate at Olive Garden yesterday and had chicken parm! My calories have ranged from 1200-1400 over the last 7 days, that seems to be a good spot for me to slowly lose. I would love to lose it overnight, but I know that is NOT going to happen:( 

Well, as I am sure none of  you will be surprised, our granite ordeal is a bust. We finally told the guy today after 16 months, we are not willing to wait any longer and want our money back. I know that should come about as quickly as getting the job done. 6000.00 Poof! We do have a kitchen island out of the deal, but I am so sad:( 

I am loving how I am feeling from eating healthier again. I am feeling empowered and proud of myself. I just hope and pray that I can keep up this feeling! I think the fact that I am eating a lot of meat is really helping. I love meat, so that is so easy for me, difficult for some:) Hi sweet Linda! 

Have a great weekend! 

142.8 on Saturday, then ate Dickies ribs on Sunday.....

I was at 143.5 this AM. That's about 2 lbs different from my high. I have been REALLY good for me. Last week I cooked most days and it is so much easier to be good. I am eating a lot of spinach since I don't like any other green veggies. I am actually kind of getting used to it. I also did another change, I went back to the multigrain sandwich thins. I think my decision to just start eating white bread may have been a bad one. I know, I know....but....I will still have it someday. I actually don't detest the taste of the thins as bad as I did when I gave them up. They are so easy to use, and they allow for an additional bit of carbs with the meal. I am eating my ice cream every day, may be a mistake, but it is a nice treat. It has been HOT!


We have eaten at Dickies BBQ often since it is close to our home. I love the meat, I love the HOT bbq sauce. I use very little because it is so HOT that I would be blowing my nose through the whole meal. Yesterday my hubby bought a full rack of ribs for us to share at home. OMG, I ate until I couldn't eat anymore and then had more for lunch today. They don't show as sugar, but they do have carbs. I LOVE MEAT!!! I have also not given up potatoes. I am eating either really small ones or 3/4 of a medium one. I could be wrong again, but I did lose with all of my decisions. I could easily eat like I have the past week forever, easily! I also am consistent with my Zumba and honestly, I feel wonderful. I feel like I am truly getting a grip. One week in, I feel GOOD:)


We got our Hawaii entertainment book today and looking through it makes me more excited to get there. Hubby accrued 11 nights worth of points from his job. The plan is to go in October and I truly can't wait. We are just waiting for our Alaska companion ticket code and we will book the trip. My heart gets very happy thinking about it! Another good reason to try and lose more weight. I really, really, really would love to be below 135. We will see, I'd love to have a firm body too, and that doesn't happen!!!

New Zumba shoes, I replaced the black laces with lime green and love them!

Blessings and happy scales....

143.4 Quick update!

Up early for Zumba and happy that I have been very good for 4 whole days! We did an all day lake day again yesterday and it was wonderful! I think I may be dark enough and better lay off the sun for a few days:)
I am very happy to see the weight loss, but it is still higher than before I went on my eating rampage. It takes so much longer to lose it, than to gain it:( REALLY??? Like that is a shocker?
The only fast food I have eaten in the last 4 days was the inside of a crisp taco on my spinach leaves for dinner. That my friends is a miracle, and makes my husbands wallet really happy!!!

Blessings and happy scales for the weekend ahead! Feeling successful!

Marv looks pretty good for a 58.5 year old man:)

Day 2 Success:)

What a wonderful day and what a wonderful way to feel when I have stayed on track! We went to my son's lake park today and enjoyed the sunshine and my grandkids! I helped Cadence conquer the fear of doing a back dive, and Cy is just a water bug this year. I actually was the cool Gma out on the dock, hanging out and laughing. I LOVED today!!! I am probably a bit too tan, but what the heck, I'm old! Tan cellulite looks better than white cellulite!
Breakfast: 2 eggs, sausage crumbles and 1 cup spinach (yucky spinach)
Lunch: Black forest ham sandwich on 3/4 of a roll with mustard. 1 teeny taste of a frosted animal cookie (waxy)
Dinner: Petite Sirloin steak, 2 cups spinach, ranch dressing and 7 chili cheese fritos crushed.
Dessert: Butter Pecan ice cream.

Cy is diving:) 

I am seriously joyful today because I have been good 2 days in a row. Gosh it feels good! It's 7:30 in the evening and I am all GOOD!!! I know I have started over many times, but usually with a half hearted attempt. This time feels different and it really helps to not have any lunch dates with friends this week! 

I even ordered new Zumba shoes last night to get me going. Woot!!! 

Blessings:) 

OK, one last thing...

Anthony Weiner is DISGUSTING!!!

Cadence at 13 is not into having her picture taken!

Cy humors me:) 

145.5 Yikes again!

Well I have eaten my way back up to a weight that is REALLY not comfortable in my clothes. If I want to buy all new pants, it's doable, but I don't! So....I started over today:) And I was GREAT all day!!! I am so proud right this moment, that I want to savor the feeling for when I let myself down, which I am sure I will. The difference between some that have gained, lost, gained, is that I am still here, plugging away.....and I WON'T GIVE UP!!!! The middle of last week I was so excited because I was back down in the 142's. Then came Thursday and a trip to Texas Roadhouse, Friday was Pizza Hut's new flat bread pizza's, Saturday was date dinner at Dickey's BBQ (I wanted more ribs) Sunday was potato salad, you know the food I recently blamed on my weight gain? Really??? I actually just made myself giggle by what a food dork that I am:) So today, I am back on track.
Breakfast: 2 pieces of bacon pre-Zumba (I usually have 2 pieces on bread)
Lunch: 2 eggs, sausage crumbles, spinach scramble (I usually have a sandwich, more bread)
Dinner: BBQ Steak and one crisp taco from Taco Time, minus the shell + extra spinach with ranch dressing. (We usually have a crisp meat burrito and 2 tacos)
Dessert was 1/2 cup No sugar added Dreyer's Butter Pecan ice cream. Now...that would not necessarily be BFC approved, but that is part of what I am going to do different. I am going to allow myself some artificial sweeteners in things that are just too darned expensive to buy in BFC approved style. I looked at Clemmy's ice cream at the same store that I bought the Dreyers, it was a much smaller contained and was 6.99. I got my Dreyer's on sale for 2.50. I just don't know if I believe that artificial sweeteners are going to be the death of me. And it was DEFINITELY not artificial sweeteners that I have been over eating. I am also going to limit my fruit, but not omit most of it. I have been eating cherries, and even watermelon at times. Very small amounts, but it is one of the only things that I eat that are healthy. I am going to eat a lot of meat. I am going to try and stay away from bread carbs.  I am going to keep my calories down. I am back to logging on myfitnesspal, and I am still doing my Zumba 3 times a week. I am also going to savor my food and not stuff it down my face like there is no more meals coming.
Wish me luck!
Blessings and Happy Scales:)

144.3!!!! OMG....I'm growing!!!

OK, so you think you have this whole BFC thing down. You are so smart that you know where hidden sugars are,  and you know what you can and can't have. (I'm talking about me) And you gain, and you bloat, and you wonder what in the heck??? And then all of a sudden, it dawns on me....maybe because Rosalie's voice was going through my head...."you can never go back to eating like you used to." I have been eating a crap load of sugar and it wasn't cookies! I have made home made potato salad 3 times and I have eaten it like there was no tomorrow. What is in it that has sugar? Sweet pickles, juice and Miracle Whip. Sugar...sugar....sugar. I use 4 sweet pickles and they are 8 sugars each! Yikes!!!
Maybe it is my old age, I forget? Or I just didn't care at the moment or moments....many moments!

The 4th of July we had a wonderful day at my husband's brothers house. It is about a 3 hour drive from our home, but a beautiful day. It was truly one of the best meals I have ever eaten at someone's house. And I ate! When we were finishing dinner someone asked what the steak had been marinated in, Yoshida Sauce! Sugar!!! Of course I had already eaten 3 pieces! UGH! There is no where safe!

Fireworks viewing from the freeway!

We almost stole this Kitty from my sister in law!

So I am just keeping on with trying to rediscover my passion for the BFC. I am still going to Zumba regularly. The only day I have missed is when I got all the way there and my tummy revolted. Kind of embarrassing to leave before the class even started, but I am used to embarrassing myself! I literally leave there with soaking wet hair, so I know I am at least getting healthier. And the weight gain is not muscle:( I would be smaller, not bigger.

Even with the weight gain and the anger at myself, I am quite happy! It feels good to be happy, weird for me actually. I am trying not to stress about things that I can not change. (Which is 99%)  You won't believe this but my daughter in law has still not had a period and her pregnancy tests are still positive. She is waiting another week to go for another ultrasound. I know she is protecting her heart, and she has way more patience than I would have. God Bless her!

I have a super busy weekend. Friday is lake day with my lifetime friends, we are going up the the lake Thursday night, so it will be a lot of fun. A wedding shower Saturday and a baby shower Sunday. My husband will miss me:) Monday is my 13th anniversary! Woot for me:) Sainthood for my husband!

I need to light a BFC fire under my behind!
Blessings and happy scales:)

Hello July and HOT weather!!!

I just read Pattie's post and she inspired me to blog what I have been thinking lately. Thinking is always dangerous for me, but I'd like to share a bit.

I have been back at Zumba for more than a month, have really watched my S/C values, have been pretty perfect on the sugar, carbs not so much.... and I am still at the same weight I was a month ago:( A month ago I was eating as many cookies as I could get in my body, not working out at all, eating whatever and whenever I wanted.....I expected instant results, I am getting little results. I think I had shared that one of my rolls was gone, and it is, but I still have more. I feel like the extra weight hampers my Zumba abilities, it hampers how I feel about myself, it hampers my "feeling good".

The "mature" part of my brain tells me that I am 56 years old. What do I expect? Am I going to let a 10 lb weight gain over the course of a year make me crazy? Unhappy? Unlovable? Unattractive? I weight 143 lbs for gosh sakes....I weighed 164.5 when I started this journey??? I get so down on myself and then I go places and I see women heavier than myself really "owning" how they look. Do they obsess when no one is looking? I have VERY dimply legs and my upper arms are getting bad too. You can't firm skin. FACT. I have very thin skin, which means I have very few wrinkles on my face, but it means my fat shows through. UGH!!!!!

I am really struggling with getting fiber in. When I actually use myfitnesspal, I am shocked by how little I get. I do take magnesium and that helps a lot, but I know real fiber would be good for me too. Really the only healthy thing I eat is my spinach when I can stand it, and fruit. UGH again!!!

This week is a crazy week, so I am going to just keep, keeping on. Next week I am thinking of starting a mostly meat, veggies, eggs, and fruit plan. I truly do not want what I weigh to be my degree of happiness. I have come so far with getting rid of my antidepressant, cutting my blood pressure pills in 1/2. I can't let 10 lbs defeat me. I refuse!

Oh, and it appears that my DIL pregnancy was chemical again:( She is so unbelievable sad that I don't even know what to say.

Have a wonderful 4th! Count your Blessings!!!

Weigh in:( But a roll is gone!!!

Well my belly fat is leaving, but my weight is still up. I am actually not as bummed as I thought I would be because there may be some reasons, and they are good health reasons.
1. I quit taking my anti depressants several months ago and I am so proud of me! Does that make a difference? who knows?
2. I am taking 1/2 of my BP pill, which includes a diuretic. Water weight? I also ran out of my diuretic I take with it that is a more powerful one than one I currently have. Of course a simple call to the Dr. to have it refilled has not happened yet. CRAZY girl!
I could be making excuses for myself, but I am giving myself a break from being angry that the weight is not just "melting" off!

I have been back at Zumba for 3 weeks today. I am so happy when I am there, but I swear I talk myself out of going all the way there! It's so bizarre??? Thankfully the good angel on my shoulder wins. Today was a crappy day out and there were 100's of kids there, I love kids....but 100's...and loud and running around??? I must be too old!

My day started at 7:15 with a text from my DIL that she tested positive for pregnancy again. It hasn't been hardly any time since we went through the devastation of her not being pregnant. As happy as I am, I am VERY cautious. God Bless her that she is trying again. Prayers on her behalf would be most appreciated.

My FAVORITE author also died today. I am so sad:( Vince Flynn was an amazing man and I loved his character Mitch Rapp. He evidently was involved in the new "24" series so I plan to watch it to honor him.

I am having no issues staying away from sugar, still having too many carbs a day. I am thinking I am formulating a plan of action for a few days to jump start. Meat, I love meat.....I just have to have it handy.

Blessings and happy scales....

Day 10, not much in the weight loss progress....but.....

I think all of my yo yoing over the last several months has caught up to me. I believe I said this same thing in a post several months ago:( Lessons are hard to learn.

I have been back to Zumba for about 2 1/2 weeks, going consistently and feeling much better each time. I have been very good BFC wise about 90% of the time. 

It was my son's 34th birthday on Wednesday and I wasn't very good that evening. I made homemade potato salad and since it takes a lot of time, I figured I would make sure it was really good! No cake, no sugar, no cookies, etc...but carbs still call my name. My son's Dad and I got divorced when he was about 6 months old. He really turned out to be a good man, and it is always fun to reminisce about former friends and family. Our spouses are kind to allow it:) Anyway, he could be a character off of Duck Dynasty. He has a long gray beard and wears camo clothing all the time. He also drives a camo painted truck!  He looks like Santa! We could not be more different in every way except for the love of our son. He just found out that his dad that died before he was even born had 3 other children. So he has 3 brothers that are in the late 70's. Can you imagine? My granddaughter Cadence spent the night Wednesday night and was having a teenage melt down. It brought back a lot of memories and reminded me why I am too old to have a teenager!!!

I feel good, I can conquer yet again, and I will get back in the 135 area someday. I'm not sure if I want to get to the 132.9 which was my all time low, I was there such a short time! I still haven't weighed straight away in the morning because I don't want to be discouraged. I can tell by my clothes that I haven't lost much. UGH!!! 

Life is good at K's house! I am loving the onset of summer! 

Kayce and I send pictures to each other when we are in the car, I know weird:)

3 Days in, not perfect on carbs, but I am on sugar!

I am so proud of me! I haven't weighed in because I don't want to be bummed if I didn't lose anything. I know, 3 days and I expect miracles!!!
Today was my first full 3x week of Zumba. I was really, really, really struggling today. I have tried to keep the carbs out of breakfast and I had no energy....ZERO!!! ZERO!!! Did I say ZERO???

Basically the last 3 mornings, I have had eggs and bacon. Wednesday I did have a piece of bread with poached eggs instead of scrambled. I think that piece of bread helped, just saying. I did eat out on Wednesday at 5 Guys. I took 1 bun off and had about 5 fries and some peanuts. Myfitnesspal calculated way over on carbs, but I didn't have the whole bun. Last night we ate at Costa Vida. I had a small chicken nachos with extra chicken. I basically ate chicken and a few chips dipped in queso. Not low cal by any means, but yummy just the same. I don't eat sour cream, guac, or pico, so I do save a few calories.
For lunch today I made a yummy steak and spinach salad, and dinner was  a shake and bake pork chop about 1/4 cup of potatoes with spinach and a bit of gravy. I did have dessert of strawberries, cool whip and candied pretzels. A good, satisfying and under calorie goal day.

I think I have a good plan for the weekend, so I am confidant that I will be successful. But any wishes of good luck are welcome:)

I will tell you what I love about the BFC. It fits me. I am so weird with my "taste buds" that I can eat my weird way and it works. Or it did, we will see!

I went to my grandsons last game of the season last night. I was so proud of how far he has come this year. He actually fielded the ball and threw out the runner at first 3x in a row! He also hit the first pitch his first 2 at bats and hit the pitcher in the "nuggers" his last at bat. He is only 5, well, he'll be 6 in a couple of weeks.

Life is good at K's house!
Blessings and happy scales....Woot to those of us who are still keeping on! No matter what plan we are doing, we have a common goal, to be healthy at a healthy weight....Right?

More insane, but back to Zumba:)

I seriously can't believe how BAD I have been. For 2+ years I dabbled now and again, but the last 2+ weeks have been an all out FOOD FEST!!! CARBS, COOKIES, CHIPS!!! Are you kidding me??? The real problem started about 2 weeks ago when hubby and I went up to Trader Joe's to get the little pecan cookie that I had gotten there before. 4 cookies were like 4/2. I used to crush a couple up in my fruit and cool whip. Anyway....my husband LOVES chocolate chip cookies and I had seen a web post about the top 10 chocolate chip cookies. 3 of them came from Trader Joe's, so we decided to get them for him. Well they no longer carry my cookies, but they did have his. The number one cookie was crunchy and he does not like crunchy cookies. I tried one, then I had another, then I had more.....and within 3 days, I had eaten about 12 pretty large cookies. That started my binge and I mean binge. Last night I had pizza hut pan pizza, bread sticks and then cinnamon sticks with icing. OMG!!! CRAZY!!!! And in there somewhere.....my husband bought me a bag of Lay's potato chips:( 

So...now I weighed in at 143.1 this morning. My lowest weight was 132.9, but I stayed pretty steady around 135. I am lucky it is not way more....and it could be by the time I get back on track. We are going to a graduation party out of town tomorrow, and my family loves their food at parties!

HAPPY:) 

I did go back to Zumba on Wednesday and plan to go tomorrow. I felt really good to see my friends again. I just love it! I should go way more, but I will figure it out again.

Tis a slippery slope my friends....BEWARE!!!

This is a picture of my daughter that NEVER smiles...she is working at a Spa and the owners comped a makeover for her. Remember her scalp had been burned really bad so they had to be careful. The smile on her face shows how happy she is, which makes me really happy:)

I will return to BFC and I will be successful again....I just don't know when yet! I know that it works, and I know the foods that helped make me successful the first go round. 

Pray for me;) 

On the home front, I am loving having the hubby here. He is just selling away on his ebay. Keeps him busy and fills his pockets. We went to Iron Man on Tuesday...oh and I ate BBQ ribs, brisket, potato casserole, yeast roll  and an ice cream cone??? WTH? Anyway, I loved Iron Man, but I found it stressful and that took away some of the entertainment value. Crazy huh? 

I just thought I would check in and tell you WHAT NOT TO DO!!!

Blessings and happy scales....

Still insane, and now sad:(

Last Friday I had wonderful news from my daughter in law. She rejected my offer of coffee when she dropped my grandson off and that set the preggers bells off in my head. Sure enough she had taken a pregnancy test and it was positive. Fast forward to Saturday and she started to spot and to today when the ultrasound showed no baby:( I am so sad for her, she was so EXCITED and she has wanted another child for 5 years. My grandson turns 6 next month. They are very solid in their Faith and His timing, but it is so sad to me. We had Cy's baseball game tonight so it was good to see them all and give them a hug and to tell them I love them. I swear these new pregnancy tests that tell them they are pregnant in like 4 days are hard. I think in the old days it took longer to find out and sometimes things just worked themselves out before heart break. I know my daughter Kayce really struggled with the same thing and now she has a Konner and he is a healthy 7 month old. I pray the same happens for Bree and Grant. 

Cy Noah

On another topic, I watched Jorge on Dr.Oz today. I kind of get where he is coming from with the whole sugar/carb thing. He is claiming that you can lose 9 lbs a week by following his new plan. If you only need to lose around 10 lbs, you can lose about 4 lbs a week. Hmmmm.....would be nice. 

I am still totally out of control and not making much of an effort to be good. I will, that's why I need to blog, so I can get my head straight. 

INSANITY!!! 

Thanks for listening:) 

May God Bless and heal all of  the people in Oklahoma, I am so sad for them too. So, so sad:( 

The blur on the left is my first hummingbird! I got the feeder last year and never saw it used until 2 days ago! They are fast!!!

WAKE UP!!! HELLO:)

My pants my hubby hates:)

Hello my friends!!! Just a quick note to check in and say that I am a GAINER!!! I think I am up to about 142. That is about 10 lbs over my lowest weight and 7 lbs over my desired weight of 135. YIKES!!! We went on our shopping/eating excursion and I definitely enjoyed myself. I ate sooooo much sugar, kind of hoping it may make me sick? Well it didn't make me sick (sugar barf sick), but I have a sore throat and a cough again. Really? 

INSANITY!!!

 I don't know what in the heck is in my head, but it isn't BFC. 

I went to lunch with a friend today and told her that I was on a binge until next Monday, I even drank diet coke! What!!! However, for dinner the last 2 nights I have had a BIG spinach salad with some ranch and my chili cheese fritos crushed up. 2 nights of something healthy isn't bad. That's as healthy as it gets at K's house and that is one of the problems!!! My husband, because I am so bitchy about my "girth", asks me if I am eating too many carbs? Really? That just makes me more hungry! He hates my linen pants, but I love them because they are so comfortable. My jeans are TIGHT:( 

I am going to share the pic from Mother's day. You can really tell in this picture that I have gained. Most of the pics my husband took I cropped from the shoulder up. UGH:( 

If I have to start cropping all my pictures, I am not a happy camper. I'll blame it on the cream colored top, I wonder why I wear black so much??? 

I am getting my hair cut tomorrow and I am going to have her layer it again. I have been growing it out, but I think the longer layers just make me look old. I also haven't had it highlighted/colored since March 6th so it is ready to get beautified. I have told myself for 3 years that I am going to quit going to my hair gal and here I go again. Insanity runs in my blood! 

My husband is really enjoying being home and selling his wares on ebay. He is so easy to have around that it just feels good, and I love knowing he is safe with me. I do know he has some resumes out there, but I don't know how hard he is trying to find a job. I asked him yesterday if he had a cool million stashed somewhere! 

My car is actually getting used again so that is nice. Have I mentioned that it is a 2008 with 21,000 miles? And my husbands car is  2003 with 5000 miles? There's that damn insanity again!!! No more company car so I guess maybe they will both get used! 

Blessings and happy scales....Woot for INSANITY!!!

Happy Mother's Day:)

Hello friends:) I feel blessed to have each and every one of you that read this blog. I feel like in the past I have been more honest on here, that in "real" life. Weird. I do know that when I look back at posts from previous times, it does bring a smile to my face to see what I was doing or thinking. So this blog is for me, to remember little things that at the moment I was writing, were important! If it is read, that's great...if it is not, then I will treasure the memories!

I miss these 2 more than I can say:( 

So with that said, I just went to a memorial service for one of my Dear friends Mom. They had an amazing service for her at our local Country Club. It was "ritzy", just like her, but also showed how simple her heart was(She drove a Lexus and had tons of pairs of Birkenstocks). I used to travel with their family, and spent tons of time at their lake place when we were younger. I also was blessed to have sold her several Thomas Kinkade paintings that her children/grandchildren now cherish. What a "wonderful life" she has led. She was 80 years young:) The things her 3 kids said about her, I can only pray that my children "think" about me. She will be missed every single day.

I just finished my 10th day of antibiotics and I made it for 2 nights without cough syrup. Progress!!! I swear the cough syrup was liquid sugar! It was necessary, but gross. I have not been thinking one single, tiny bit about my weight, food, what I should or shouldn't eat. I have been in a free for all with the knowledge implanted in my brain about what I should do. I think for the most part, I make good decisions. I was just ready to go back to Zumba next Wednesday and the gym is closed for 2 weeks! Looks like I have a vacation until the first part of June. Dang:)

Monday hubby and I are going to Missoula MT for shopping therapy. I am excited to get away and eat at my favorite places. It will be a nice quick trip, but I am ready to blow this joint and quit being sick!

On a shocking front, we have one piece of our granite installed. I asked 100 different ways when to expect the rest, and was never given a clear answer. The one piece does look pretty amazing!

finally....

My oldest son has a full day planned tomorrow, none of which includes me, and my twins are taking me to lunch. My own mom is going to the casino. I love the dysfunction of our family:) Not! At least I know my husband loves me and will make sure I always feel good. 

Happy Mother's Day and Blessings to all:)

Too much sugar lowers our immunities! Insanity!!!

So I am either allergic to my daughter, or she is a bad influence! Or I am just a glutton for punishment! Either way, whenever we get together I eat too much sugar and then I get sick. I got home Monday and I knew I was feeling rough, but I had no idea that I would cough myself 1/2 to death all night. I decided I had too much to do to be sick so I went to the Dr. and had a sinus infection and pink eye. Lovely pink eye! I remember telling my seat mate on the plane not to worry that I coughed a little and my eyes were pink, my daughter assured me it was just allergies. In case you don't know this: Allergies cause your eyes to be runny, pink eye causes them to be goopy. I didn't know that since I have never had allergies in my life and I guess I still don't. So what would the good news be out of my sickies? I was 140.9 this AM and I have pretty much cleaned out my system. I slept last night and hopefully tomorrow I will wake up and be totally healthy again. 10 days of anti biotics will hopefully knock out the nasties. My poor husband gets a sick wife back after being away for 2 weeks:( I will never go for 2 weeks again, not only did I eat way too much, I spent sooooo much money on stupid things, like food! UGH!!!

At the Hilton in Atlanta. This family is LOUD in a hotel. I was mortified! 

I just wanted to check in, I am too tired still to really think much! Pattie had asked our lifestyle commandments for food. Here's mine:

1. Sugar is toxic and I will avoid it. I will have a bite or 2 every once in awhile, but then I will get sick again....go figure!

2. I will always watch my carbs and try and eat what is best for me, but I won't give up my white bread. It isn't a realistic lifestyle choice for me. 

3. I rarely drink diet soda, rarely!!! I love ice tea with Stevia in the raw

4. Calories do matter in my life. I can't eat too many day after day without gaining weight. I have said it many times, I do not gain weight by eating potatoes, I gain weight because I ate too many potatoes. 

5. I eat potatoes! 

That's all I can think of right now. I guess my top 2 would be the same BFC I have been practicing for a little over 2 years. 15/6. 

Remember to tell the ones that you love that you love them. My Dear friend lost her Mom unexpectedly yesterday. I spent so much time with them when I was younger. It makes me very sad:( 

Blessings and happy scales....

Lordy, Lordy....I feel big time over 40...wait, I am:)

The kids are down and I have some quiet time so I thought I would share a bit. I want to share what sugar does to my tummy....it makes it big!!! I have my 3rd round of key lime pie ice cream in the freezer right now. Not only am I eating 2 scoops, but it comes in a waffle bowl. UGH!!! When will this insanity end? Next Monday when I get home to my hubby. I seriously have been bloated and sickly and I am still eating junk.

Today we did a lot of shopping again and I found some cute things. My daughter turned me on to some linen pants that have a foldover waist that is all the rage. They truly are the most comfortable thing ever so I hope they wash well. I keep buying my grandson toys and expecting a different result...insanity? I buy them, he loses them....poof....money goes out the window!

It feels like midnight here and it is only just before 9. I truly give myself a big pat on the back that I was a single mom with 4 kids for many years and did not go insane. It is HARD work!!!

Karson's creative clothes

Trying to get a good picture!

We just played Yahtzee for the 3rd night in a row and I am the BIG winner for the evening. 3 yahtzee's in 2 games:) Woot for me!
Everyone has gone to bed and I am sitting quietly before I call my hubby. Cable was too expensive so they cancelled it yesterday. I have been so out of the loop news wise since I got here. I guess it may be a good thing? I get so mad at what is happening in this Country that it does alleviate some of the stress from things I can not change. I do miss all of my regular night time shows that I haven't gotten to watch. Dancing with the stars, American Idol *even though this season was bad* All of my soaps that I still watch! I am going to have a lot of shows to clear off the DVR!

My son in law had to do a 20 mile walk in the middle of the night last night so he is just now going to bed for the first time since Monday. I really don't know how he does it and still stays sane and still loves playing with his boys....and putting up with Kayce!!! She is a handful:) Tonight was the first time that there weren't 3 women and their kids out on the screen porch visiting all evening. These homes are like duplexes that were built many, many, many, many, many years ago! Dwight Eisenhouer (sp) lived down the street in one of them. Anyway..they all have the cool screen porches and they are kind of close together. They had new neighbors move in tonight and they already put up a privacy screen!!! I don't think that will win them many friends??? Army life is pretty interesting and you definitely have to learn how to make friends easily.

Blessings and hugs to all of my buddies:) Thanks for reading;)