Where do I begin? Cue Love Story lyrics:)

Songwriters: FREEMAN, RUSS

Where do I begin
To tell the story
Of how great a love can be
The sweet love story
That is older than the sea
That sings the truth about the love she brings to me
Where do I start

With the first hello
She gave the meaning
To this empty world of mine
That never did
Another love another time
She came into my life
And made the living fine
She fills my heart

She fills my heart
With very special things
With angel songs
With wild imaginings
She fills my soul
With so much love
That anywhere I go
I'm never lonely
With her along who could be lonely
I reach for her hand
It's always there

How long does it last
Can love be measured by the hours in a day
I have no answers now
But this much I can say
I know I'll need her till the stars all away
And she'll be there...
How long does it last
Can love be measured by the hours in a day
I have no answers now
But this much I can say
I know I'll need her till the stars all burn away
And she'll be there...

STOP THE MADNESS!!!!

Am I the only one who remembers that song from one of the saddest movies of all time, Love Story? 

OK, I can't even tell you why? What is in my head? But I believe that sugar/carbs are an addiction that takes a conscious effort to overcome. I have been out of control and telling myself that I am just a "little" bigger. Last week I decided that I was so done trying to lose again. I was pretty much eating anything and everything and maintaining my weight. I didn't want to have to "try" to fit into a size 6 pant anymore, I would just buy a size 8, and let it go. Sounds good right? Until I tried on the size 8 and they were too tight. Hubby and I went shopping yesterday to buy an outfit for a wedding that we are going to later today. I always head straight to the INC department of Macy's because I usually find something stylish and quality. I found one sweater that I bought, not in love with, but not a lot of choice when you are having a feeling "fat" day. It sure looked cute on the mannequin:) Then we went to Gap to buy the same pants I have had before, but in a larger size. Gross, Gross, Gross, Gross, Gross! I didn't like the pant color or pocket this year either. So we went over to American Eagle, I grabbed a size 8, walked up to the cashier and paid, and left the store to try them on in the comfort of my own home. They fit in the butt, and thighs, but of course, tight in the waist. I could have definitely used a bigger size. I am keeping them, and I am going to fit into them. Come Hell or high water! This fat around my waist is the cookies, no sugar added ice cream, Wendy's new frosty waffle cone, cake at Bunko, it's endless....I have had an excuse every week not to start because I have all these social situations that I have "first". Well, as Pattie said on her 100 post today, this is a forever process. How many times has Rosalie told us that? You can NEVER go back to your old way of eating. I went back, and she's right! I thought I could "dabble" and still be good 90% of the time. That just doesn't work for me at this point. It makes me sad, especially since the things that I have been eating, haven't even been my favorites! I haven't indulged on all of my dream sweets, I don't typically even eat ice cream. UGH!!!

We leave for Hawaii in 32 days, I have "things" again all week that will be temptations, but I did it before and I can do it again. Dang! And just being good with my Zumba? Doesn't work, it's the combination. I actually do better food wise when I am not working out at all. What? Yep, I always gain when I go back to Zumba after a long break. And no, it isn't muscle:(  I have now owned my new Yoga CD's for over 2 months and I have done 15 minutes. I watched another 15, if that counts:(  I can make every excuse in the book, but none of them makes this 10 lbs feel better or disappear. 

So for now, I ask for your good wishes, your strength and you wisdom to get back on the road again. I can and will do this. I did it once, I CAN do it again! 

Blessings and Happy Scales....

Today was the day!!!

So I am starting today to be "good" again. I have seriously been STARVING all day. Like chow down,  not enough food, STARVING! It is so funny how our minds work. I ate a 1/2 rack of BBQ ribs for dinner last night. A 1/2 rack!!! Hubby and I usually get them and have about 5 ribs left over, last night we ate the whole rack between us. UGH!!! I was preparing myself for today....hahahahahhaha! How did that work out for me??? So this is what I am doing: I did go to Zumba this AM, I am pretty structured there, but I also bought some 2 lb (too light, but I wasn't sure what I would use) I have done squats with the weights, arm exercises all day. Ran in place, and took a nap:) Every time I go potty, which is hourly, I pick up the weights and do something. My flat a$$ needs some definition;) I feel happy tonight, even if I wasn't perfect. I did log my food into myfitnesspal and my calories weren't that bad, my carbs....BAD:(
My granddaughter turned 14 yesterday and they had a party for her on Friday night. People, I hate to even admit this, but my son and his wife had no light bulbs in their living room. Like it was seriously dark, it was CRAZy!!! You have a party and you have no light? One gal used her flash light on her cell phone to make it light enough to see what presents my grand daughter opened. Thank goodness it was still a little light outside so there was some natural light in the room. They NEVER have napkins, and now they don't have light bulbs. They are mid 30's for gosh sakes!!!!
Wish me luck on getting a grip on my food, we leave for Hawaii in about 6 weeks, I don't think I am going to lose much, but a little would be nice. I seriously do feel better now that I am taking the oral estrogen, more balanced:) I also have a wedding in a about 12 days that I would love to lose 10 lbs for....gosh I am funny tonight!
Have a great week:)
Blessings and happy scales....

Pictures are impossible:) 

143.7.....is the tale 'o the scale....as my husband says it.

My husband can hear the scale when I put it down in the morning and he asks "what's the tale 'o the scale?" when I come downstairs. There are times that I just slug him in the arm, and times when I am pleased and smile. Yesterday I was actually at 142.7 and that is after a really, really, rough, yummy, fun, filling, bad girl....week! I think the extra lb today is from the 2 ice cream cones that I had at Dickie's BBQ last night! I decided that I am pretty darn close to the 15/6 guidelines (90%  of the time)  and where I fail is my lack of movement. I sit on my a$$ a lot. I don't work, so I basically am a lazy person. I do go to Zumba 3x a week, and I have every intention of putting my new yoga DVD's in, but I don't. SO...instead of limiting my food, I decided to move more. I am hoping the combination of both, will take me back down again! So each hour for 5 hours today I ran up my stairs, did 10 jumping jacks, ran down the stairs...then used 2 soup cans (I need some weights) to do several different arm exercises. It isn't a huge amount, but it is 5x more than I did yesterday! Small baby steps of adding activity. I can do this!!! Hawaii is less than 2 months away....

We did a short little trip to Missoula for fun shopping last week. (And food, lots of food...bacon...ugh)  I got my first pair of "real" sunglasses and it made me cry. I know that sounds really dumb, but I have never had polarized glasses before. I got some Maui Jim's and it made me cry. I have said it before, but when I was a single mom, I was poor....dirt poor at times, hock my ring poor, to buy food. Each weird little thing that happens that makes me realize that my life is different, makes me emotional. I actually didn't start crying until I found a penny and thought of my Dad in Heaven and how happy he would be for me. My husband feels so good when he knows he makes me happy with the little things....I know, I'm strange!

Marv's new rig

I have mentioned before that my husband is a car head and he wanted a new 50,000 car. I did prevent that, but he did get a new/used rig. I actually love it and look forward to lots of road trips. I told him today that I was going to take a picture of the 3 cars in the garage, and a picture of our living room couches, and share with the world his strange priorities! My living room furniture is hideous, but we never even walk through the room, so it seems crazy to get new things? And while I am on the subject....NO GRANITE YET....not even a phone call....just an empty promise to have it done by September 30th. Sigh:(

So Carey had mentioned that you shouldn't take your thyroid meds with coffee and I took it to heart. I started taking it right when I go to bed. Since it has to be taken on an empty stomach, it prevents me from eating past 7. I think it is working....I also started taking estrogen and it IS working. I was in hot flash hell, not sleeping, and CRANKY!!! It has been about 5 days and I already feel better and I have slept great 2 nights in a row. Woot!!!

So that is it from K's house! I wish we would all get back to our Blogging, but I realize life is busy.
Blessings and happy scales.....

I am STUCK!!!

I haven't been blogging because I am so frustrated with the scale:( I have been "trying" for 6 weeks to drop some weight. Depending on the day, I have lost between 2-3.5 lbs. Really??? I have only missed 1 Zumba during those weeks, I sweat like a pig, am exhausted and STARVING afterwords...UGH!!! 

On the good news front, we have finally booked our Hawaii trip, I once again talked my husband out of a 50,000 dollar car, and life is peaceful! 

This tends to be true with my kids!

Because I am frustrated, I haven't been the best at my food choices, but I still am really low on sugar, except today...General chicken from the Safeway deli. 17 sugars!!! I had it for lunch and dinner. Yikes!!! 

I bought yoga tapes 3 weeks ago and have done 15 minutes??? WTH??? I am lazy with a capital L!!! 

Tomorrow is my gym girls lunch and my first Bunko of the year. We take the summer off, so I am excited to see my girls. Life is a Blessing every day! 

I want to go to my oldest son's for his kids first day of school, but I have to be out there by 7:00AM. They live about a 30 minute drive away! THAT IS EARLY for me. I am used to sleeping until then. We will see if the desire to share in their day gets me out there! Cadence will start 8th grade and Cy will be in Kindergarten. So excited for my granddaughter to be going to school here. She is living with my son this year and I can actually go to her sporting events! Did I write that before??? Who knows???

Where did everyone go? I miss our little blogging community:( We just have to keep at this! Encourage one another and share our successes! We can do this! 

Blessings and happy scales....

141.9....On my way down a little more....But I am soooooo angry!!!

I had my physical on Thursday and unfortunately my blood work was not there before I saw the Dr. When I got my test results by email on Friday, too late to call, she wants me to start on cholesterol meds because there is a marked increase since last year. I think I went from 218 to 253. OK, this is why I am so MAD....I have been pretty darn good with my eating for 4 weeks. I have been really good with my Zumba for about 3 or 4 months. I don't know what the hell else I am supposed to do. Yes, I eat too many processed foods aka bacon, yes I probably eat too many eggs. I eat cheese now which I didn't eat much before. I even added the multi grain sandwich thins back a month ago. Seriously....I was so upset today that I had to take 1/2 an anxiety pill to calm down. It is the injustice of it all. I eat right, exercise, I am height weight proportionate. It isn't fair....I even whined on the Sandy's site. I don't even freaking drink alcohol!!!! maybe I should???
So I am thinking about what I want to do. When I owned my little women's gym there were so many horror stories of  people taking the cholesterol meds, then you top that with all of the Dr.'s coming out against them. Honestly, I have taken BP meds since my early 30's, I finally got off my anti depressants, I was so proud of myself. UGH!!! I wish I could verbalize how angry I am . And yes, I know it is not a "serious" medical condition, but really??? What the heck!!!!

So forgive me for ranting. The end.

Say what????

I have truly been a very good girl and have been back on track for about  15 days. My lowest weight was last Sunday and I was 141.7. Today I got on the scale and I was 143.5, say what??? I was so PI$$ED that I thought about what I would really like to eat today and I came up with my Rotel sausage dip and Fritos scoops. I am weird, I know this! I had it for lunch and I am having it again for dinner. Yep..if I'm going to gain a little, I want it to be worth it. 

Seriously though, I know that I will go back down. The increase could be related to water retention, hormones, any number of things. I did not increase in size. My measurements are the same as Saturday, so I am OK! This freaking weight battle is not for sissies!!! 

New laces. I LOVE these shoes:) 

I am still doing Zumba and still keeping my calories in check. I will soldier on. Monday at Zumba I thought I may have mistakenly taken my blood pressure pill because I got pretty light headed and had to slow down. Wednesday, I purposely didn't take it and the same thing happened. I took this lovely picture of my face when I got in the car. It doesn't show the full impact of the RED color of my face. It does show all of my wrinkles:) 

My husband had  job interview today, it was super stressful for me, not him. I know that we will be OK whether he works or doesn't work, but we would be so much better if he did work. It's not in our hands, and I know we are so unbelievably Blessed that I shouldn't even worry about it. I feel guilty praying for something that others desperately need. I sure feel guilty a lot:(  I'm sure that didn't make sense at all. 

It makes us re-evaluate where we are and what we want to do when we grow up? Who knows! If he worked again, selfishly I would have more money to spend, but he would be working. Money/working/money/working???

Blessings and happy scales:)

Zumba RED!

142.2 Slowly headed down.......

I feel better already. I am logging all of my food into myfitnesspal and I love the accountability that it gives me. I really like the days that I do Zumba because it makes me feel like I have really done well calorie wise. Carbs are still a little high at times, but overall, I am proud of myself. I even ate at Olive Garden yesterday and had chicken parm! My calories have ranged from 1200-1400 over the last 7 days, that seems to be a good spot for me to slowly lose. I would love to lose it overnight, but I know that is NOT going to happen:( 

Well, as I am sure none of  you will be surprised, our granite ordeal is a bust. We finally told the guy today after 16 months, we are not willing to wait any longer and want our money back. I know that should come about as quickly as getting the job done. 6000.00 Poof! We do have a kitchen island out of the deal, but I am so sad:( 

I am loving how I am feeling from eating healthier again. I am feeling empowered and proud of myself. I just hope and pray that I can keep up this feeling! I think the fact that I am eating a lot of meat is really helping. I love meat, so that is so easy for me, difficult for some:) Hi sweet Linda! 

Have a great weekend!