I just wanted to share my lovely Easter dinner. I guess because I have had such a good time with my children lately that I thought maybe we had turned a corner??? Nope! I started cooking at 10:30 AM. I only had the twins coming, but I still wanted it to be a fun dinner. After seeing Pattie's post we ran to the store and got some of the favorites for Easter Baskets. They are 24...but I just wanted to do it. So, they show up on time...good....we have a lot of fun laughs...I made a turkey/dressing/mashed potatoes/gravy/green bean dinner.....then we talked about Thomas Kinkade dying....we were still at the dinner table....I said I loved contemporary art so if I sold all of his things I would be OK with that.....comments about contemporary art are made....my stormy daughter got her "feelers" hurt....tried to leave but realized she hadn't driven....I chewed her twin out because this time he had started the battle....he had driven, so they left....no thank you...nothing....and all of that happened in 45 minutes. Yep....45 minutes. I was so hurt, sad, frustrated. My husband is speechless and wants to spank their butts, which he would have loved to have done years ago. No apologies, no acknowledgement of their Easter Baskets. I think I may have finally learned a lesson. I over give with no expectations. That's a good quality to have, but it does nothing to teach them the responsibility of thankfulness. I have missed some lessons to my kids by not holding their selfishness accountable. For those of you with younger, more impressionable and moldable kids.....I strongly urge you to learn from my hurts. Because I am their Mom I will love them through it, but I am finding that I forgive, but I don't forget. Thank GOD my identity is not all about how my kids treat me.
My 55th birthday is on Wednesday. I will be lucky to get a facebook acknowledgement. I could be wrong, shocked, surprised...but I know I'm not. My husband and I are planning to spend the day together in peace and the love that he surrounds me in every day. Peaceful, gracious, accepting love.
I have eaten myself to death today, but I did go to Zumba. I have a dinner at Olive Garden tomorrow night, my birthday on Wednesday and then I am done with commitments for awhile. I am going to get out my journals and go back to BFC 101. I still don't eat sugary treats, but carbs are through the charts.
Thanks for listening to my sad tale. I wish I believed that it would change someday? Funny but my son had just asked me if I was ever going to ditch them like my mom had ditched me. Hmmm....I would NEVER, but they get close!
Blessing and happy scales!
Kay I can really relate. I have 3 and my 2 boys - I never hear from hardly. My daughter loves me and that counts. I am sorry that happened, but I hope you have a great birthday w/Hubby and forget about them for the day.
ReplyDeleteHave fun at Olive Garden :-)
I'm so sorry, Kay. They can still learn to behave well. Hold them accountable for their immature behavior and call them out on it whenever you have the chance. Even though they are "adults" now, you're still MOM.
ReplyDeleteKay - Hang in there! Someday they may realize what they are missing.
ReplyDeleteAnd HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY on Wednesday!!
Dana
Im so sorry Kay! If it is any comfort I didnt really get along with my mother until I was a full on adult.... which yoru kids arent quite yet. One day they will regret their actions and thank you for being the wonderful mother you are. I feel sure of that! :) And early Happy Bday!!!!
ReplyDeleteMaybe you'll have to wait until they have their own kids before they really "get it". I have one that can be pretty insensitive at times. I keep hoping he'll grown out of it. I think it was really nice of you to make the dinner and make them baskets, deep down I'm sure they appreciate it. I hope you have a VERY Happy Birthday Kay!!
ReplyDeleteOh Kay, I am so sorry you are hurting!
ReplyDeleteI think you can love, but set healthy boundaries around those relationships. Love YOURSELF as much as you love your children...
Sending (((HUGS)))
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBummer! I sure hope that you guys can get it all worked out, sooner rather than later. Take it easy. xoxo
ReplyDeleteKay, you know they say that no one can take advantage of you without your permission. Don't let them do that do you. You should send them an email or letter stating exactly what they did to hurt your feelings. It seems they just don't get it and if you don't call them out on their behavior, maybe they never will see what they did. I'm sorry about your day, but you did the right thing and tried to make their lives happy and their Easter a nice one. No one can take that away. Also, regarding the Kincaids...I say sell them and get the money. I just heard on the news that the demand for them is going through the roof. You can think about them as you are lying on the beach in Hawaii from the profits!! Happy Birthday and sending love and hugs!
ReplyDeleteoops sorry about the spelling...should have been Kinkade. You can tell I don't know much about him!
ReplyDeleteOne of my daughters was like that. At 31 she met a guy who was a real keeper and she came to realize that she couldn't behave that way if she wanted to hang on to him. He puts up the limits and points it out to her. For so long she thought that she only acted that way with mom (me). Now she realizes that she needed to work on her personality and told me that and it helped me to heal to realize that she was finally growing up. Hopefully yours will realize that, too, someday.
ReplyDelete